Don't Spill the Beans

I may be showing my age a bit here, but who out there remembers THIS game? 

Growing up, it was one of my favorites. I loved to play it with my brothers, stacking the beans on top, one by one, awaiting that moment when a player would finally place one too many beans on the stack and the pot would tilt and overturn, spilling everything all over the table top. 

I had not really thought about the game much. It was just one of those fun little tidbits from my childhood tucked away in my memory. Then, this week, the game took on a whole new significance for me personally. 

My life for the past couple of months has felt much like that bean pot- duty after duty, appointment after appointment, personal stress on top of personal stress. Instead of the fun game from my childhood, I found myself wondering what little thing life would throw at me that would finally be the ultimate "pot-spill" moment. What would cause me to crash to the ground emotionally? Well, this weekend that pot spilled!

A couple of months ago my husband broke his foot- his right foot- his driving foot- and that has meant that I am doing all of the driving, getting myself to work and taxiing him to his many meetings and appointments. The foot is still in a boot and is healing very slowly. As a result, it looks like I could have several more weeks of taxi duty. I also recently took on a part time job at the local elementary, a position funded through grant money and working with early childhood literacy. My daughter is in the midst of a stressful senior year of nursing school and has required some hand-holding and attention and my mother suffers from dementia. My father is her full-time care giver, but when he needs to do something out of the home, I am the one called upon to come and take care of her. The cherry on top of the whole emotional sundae is the upcoming marriage of my daughter, next August. With her in college, I am doing a lot of the "grunt work" and I am also spending spare time crocheting items to sell to help make some of the money to pay for the wedding. 

Then Friday, the final bean got placed on top of the pot- my maternal grandparent's house burned, likely by arson. My mother and father had inherited the property in February when my aunt died and Dad has been working diligently to clear it out and get it ready to sell. We had encountered some legal issues and have been working through those, but we could not get them resolved quickly enough. The house was a total loss. Already ill with bronchitis and faced with the burning of that property and the emotional trauma, I suffered my personal crash. 

I found myself emotionally and physically drained, crying to a friend and pouring out my woes. God used her in that moment. She took my hand, wrapped an arm around me, and began praying for me. With each word from her mouth, my sobs calmed a bit, my breathing eased, and my weight began lifting. God's calming spirit began filling me and I knew that I could go on. My personal "beanpot" had been uprighted- empty for now. Yes, life will begin filling it again, bean by bean, but I can always count on God to help me find my balance and come through. 

Isaiah 41:13 says, 

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you."

God used my friend as an earthly answer for the comfort I needed in that moment, but I need to remember that I can always call on him to offer that emotional comfort when I need it. When I find myself off-kilter and unbalanced because of life's many stresses, I need to remember to pause a moment, take a breath, and seek God's help. He can and will help me through!

Drowning.....

Last night, I had a dream. In the dream I was driving down the road when I suddenly encountered water streaming across the surface. For some reason, I kept right on driving through, heedless to the danger.

I felt my car slip to the right and head off the road into the raging water. The car went down, down, down below the surface; yet, I did not feel fear. Instead, I was remarkable calm. It was at that point that I awakened.

I puzzled about the dream-  Why did I head straight on into the water rather than turning around, as I have been taught? Why was I so calm in the midst of danger?

Then, this afternoon, it all became clear.....

I was sitting at home reading some devotionals from my iPhone, when these verses popped out at me:

Isaiah 43: 1-2

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

 

When you pass through the waters,

    I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;

    the flames will not set you ablaze.

WOW! I felt like I had been shoved with an elbow in the ribs. This was so much like my dream. With further reading, I saw that the devotional was referring to fear and how it can overwhelm us, but for me, the verses held a different meaning.

This summer I have felt extremely overwhelmed. My father has been ill and has 2 different surgical procedures, my husband has been experiencing heart issues and has been undergoing several tests, and my son is experiencing some "about to enter adulthood" stress and indecision which has caused him to experience high blood pressure. Through it all, I have been trying to be the stalwart, the one who is there for everyone, to the point that I have ignored my own health issues. . At times I have felt like I was there, all alone, trying to be all and do all. This was my own personal flood..... my own raging waters.

Yet, here was God, telling me that he IS here with me. No matter how hard life gets, no matter how high the flood of stress gets, he IS there with me to help me through. I am NOT alone! I have no reason to fear. I am HIS and he will be there. I simply need to remember that and lean on him for strength and support.

Lord, please help me to remember to call on you when times get rough and I feel the floods of life's stresses pouring in on me. Help me to remember that I am not alone and that you will always be there for me. I am your child and you will be my life-vest when the storms begin to rage. As much as the stress weighs on me, you will keep my boat afloat on the waters of life.

Stressed Less

It is so difficult for me to believe that this is the final week of the Stressed-Less Living Online Bible study. For me, it has been transformational.  I wish that there was a "stress gauge" that I could use to scientifically document the difference between my stress level at the beginning of this study and my stress level now, but I don't think I can purchase one at the local department store or pharmacy, so I suppose that anecdotal references will have to do.

I came into the study thinking that it would show me how to eliminate some of the stress in my life. After all, that was the title of the book, right?...... WRONG! Right off the bat, in Chapter One I learned that what had to change was not my life, but ME! Once I accepted my responsibility, I began to realize that the old saying was true, "An ATTITUDE is a little thing that can make a BIG difference." I needed to stop being so negative all of the time and focus on the brighter side of things.

Chapter Six of the book brought another huge slap that woke me up to a new reality---- I was taking too much into my own control. Those people who know me might say, "Hey, wait a minute... we always knew that!" Looking back, I can see that I always tried to jump in and fix things. I am one of those who thinks it is all one big logical sequence: see a problem, determine the specific needs, work to fill the need. Now I realize that there are are some things that I had been leaving out of the sequence. It should read: see a problem, TAKE THE PROBLEM TO GOD, ALLOW HIM to determine the specific needs, work to help GOD fill the need. Because of what I have learned in this study, I find myself praying more, asking God to help me see what needs to be done and then to provide me with guidance to help meet the needs. Sometimes I find myself praying about things for quite a while before God speaks back, but that is ok. I am developing a real patience.

Chapter Eight found me saying, "Hello, My name is Stella and I am an Accomplisher." Yes, I like to make lists- even if they are sometimes mental lists- of things that I need to do each day. It gives me great pride to cross each item off the list and move on to the next. Before I started this study my daily list might be VERY LONG and I would find my heart pounding, pushing me to get started. As I completed each task that adrenaline did not slow down. Instead, it was almost as though the list was growing.... imagine that! I would think of all the things that I had LEFT to do rather than those things that I had accomplished. What happened if I reached the end of the day and there where still things on the list? Can you say the word, "Breakdown"---- No longer! My daily list is shorter and if things are still left at the end of the day? In the tone of Scarlett..... "Tomorrow is another day!"

My last bit of evidence is to relay some personal examples from this week. In order to discuss the change that has occurred in me, I need to tell you about the stresses in my life, what might have been, and what my new reality is.

This week I had two major stresses: Two final days of teacher training and temporarily losing my daughter to a summer program.

First the training: As school went out early in May I received an email about a possible summer literacy training. After some investigation, I decided that I would LOVE to attend. It would give me some great strategies for my classroom and besides.... I would get paid a nice stipend for attending. Early in June I received a follow up email asking if I wanted a hotel room or did I just want to drive back and forth? To fully explain the situation, I suppose I should tell you that getting to the training involves a 73 mile commute (one way). I decided to drive. Normally, the stresses of traffic, weather delays, getting up extra early during the summer, returning home late, gas prices..... you name it..... all of these things would have combined to create a frazzled me. But this time.... they didn't. I used the commute as a time to listen to KLove on the radio, sing along with some of the songs, utter a few prayers for people in need, and just spend quiet time with the Lord and my thoughts.  I even squeezed in a shopping visit one morning when I arrived at my training TOO EARLY! Imagine that!

The second real stress came on Sunday when I dropped my daughter off for a 5 week Governor's Scholars Program. Here in Kentucky, students who are juniors in high school can apply for the program. A little over 1000 are chosen from across the state. They spend 5 weeks on a college campus developing leadership skills, learning about themselves, learning how to make decisions, and basically getting a new mind-set and attitude that is supposed to better prepare them for the real world that lies ahead of them in the coming year. During the five weeks, families can only visit 1 day- Family Day- which is about 2 weeks into the program.

I had been through the whole thing two years ago when my son was in the program. I was a blubbering idiot on drop-off day, Family Day, and even on pick-up day I think. I will be honest and tell you that I still shed a few tears when I left her, but I knew that she was safe in God's hands. Last night she called to tell us that a storm was moving through the area. She and several other girls were kind of temporarily "trapped" in the dorm and might miss supper. "I will eat some of my snacks and maybe call out for a delivery from somewhere a little later." Boy, did she really grow up THAT much in 4 days? To further heighten my stress level, her birthday is coming up this week. She will celebrate her Sweet Sixteen over three hours away from me. The old me might have approached this with more tears and a second box of Kleenex, but the new me did a Pinterest search for creative CARE package ideas, did a shopping trip, and came home to get a box ready for mailing. (Hopefully, it will arrive at the dorm before the big day.)

Yes, this study has been a life-changer! I can't wait for school to start back. (Did I REALLY just say that?) I am hoping that my students will see a quieter, less-pressured, more attentive ME..... one that thinks more before she speaks, smiles more, and can let her hair down from time to time. Thank you God for sending this Bible study just when I needed it!

A Real Miracle....

When I looked at the list of possible blog post ideas for the Stressed Less Living Bible study, I knew exactly which one I would be writing about:

3.  Miracles. In this day and age, miracles still happen…we simply have a harder time believing them. If you have ever experienced or witnessed a miracle, we would LOVE to hear your testimony of His Glory

This weekend we also celebrate Father's Day, so it is the perfect opportunity for me to pay tribute to my own living, breathing, walking proof of God's grace and miracles- my father.

I guess I was a lot like other young people growing up- I sometimes took my father's presence in my life for granted. He was just always there for me any time that I needed him.  He worked Monday through Friday and took us all to church on Sunday. He was a deacon in the church, the church custodian, and the maintenance man for a nearby Girl Scout camp.

Even when I married and started my own family, I could count on Dad to come when I called.  His presence was more rare, yet he always seemed to be there when I really needed him. He earned part of his living as a carpenter: building and renovating homes, repairing plumbing or electricity, or whatever else needed to be done around the home. This meant that whenever I mentioned a toilet that wouldn't flush right or a leaky faucet, or even something bigger Dad was right there- Mr. FIX IT on the spot.

There have been several times that I thought we might not have Dad in our lives for much longer, however.... and that is where God and the miracles come in.

The first episode I remember was when my mother phoned me at work to tell me that Dad had been on a tractor and had been flipped from it, landing in a ditch, with the tractor on top of him, pinning him down. An ambulance rushed him to the nearest hospital, who loaded him on a helicopter and flew him to a hospital in a larger city within the state.The doctors were concerned about the tractor's weight possibly causing internal injuries. Miraculously, Dad came through that episode with only a few bruises. Thankfully, Dad cannot remember much about the whole thing because they had sedated him.

The next miracle came several years ago when I was sitting at home preparing dinner. The phone rang and it was my mother, telling me that Dad had fallen from a church roof while he was building a steeple. He had plummeted to the asphalt below and was unconscious. Since the closest hospital to the work site was in a nearby state, they had flown Dad there. I rushed to Mom's side and drove her to the hospital, praying all the while. I will never forget sitting in that silent, antiseptic, cold waiting room outside of surgery, anxiously awaiting word of whether Dad would survive. This time Dad's injuries were a bit more severe. When Dad hit the asphalt parking surface, the retina in one of his eyes had separated from the back of the eye. When it lost blood flow, it basically died. My father, who made his living by doing detailed electrical and woodwork was now permanently blinded in one eye.

I feel terrible about this, but at the time, the only thing I could think of was the fact that Dad could not see as well. I did not take the time to thank God for his mercy in saving Dad's life; instead, I told my mother, "This will kill him. He won't be able to do the things that he used to." Boy, was I wrong! I under-estimated both God and my father. Though his eyesight was lessened, his determination wasn't. Dad kept working at it and eventually returned to MOST construction work, leaving such things as the detailed electrical wiring for someone else. He kept reading his Bible and driving himself to church every Sunday morning.

Since then God has intervened when Dad was in a car accident, colliding with a loaded coal truck. Dad did not escape that accident completely unscathed either; he suffered a broken ankle- the first broken bone that he had ever had.

Another time, Dad cut his hand when a saw kicked back on him. He had to undergo several hours of neurosurgery and lost one pinkie finger and part of the finger next to it. After months of rehabilitation, Dad returned to farming, helping with repairs at church, and continues to fill his spot in the pew each Sunday morning.

I jokingly say that Daddy is like a cat- he has nine lives. He has certainly been through more physical injury and potential tragedy than most people. To be honest, I think the truth is that Dad just hasn't finished all of the things that God intends for him to do here on earth. Each and every accident had the potential of ending in death, but they didn't. Each time, God spared Dad's life and sent him back to the family and the church who depends on him so much. He continues to be a strong testimony of God's protection and the fact that miracles really do still happen- even in the 21st Century.

A Cheerful Heart....

This morning I started on Chapter 10 of the Stressed-Less Living Bible study. When I read this verse, my thoughts immediately went to that old adage, "You are only as old as you feel."

When I allow the weights of the world to push down my spirit, I do feel a bit "crushed" and I definitely feel OLDER! On the other hand, when I take the time to deliberately look at the brighter side of life, I have a more positive outlook and a spring in my step.

This weekend I was out shopping with my son. We were having a great time looking for bargains and even enjoying some REAL conversation.... something that is difficult to get with a teenage boy.  While walking down one aisle in the home decor section I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought, "I look pretty good- my middle isn't nearly as big as I thought."....... This coming from the almost 50 year old woman who usually notices every grey hair, wrinkle, and bulge!  My heart was cheerful and I was having fun, so when I saw myself in the mirror it was impossible for me to be negative. If only I could maintain that positive, cheerful heart all of the time!

I had not realized how extensively my emotional being could color my life and my thinking. I realize that I need to be live more like the song.....

Striving to maintain the cheerful heart-

The one that focuses on the blessings that God has given-

The one that sees the smile on my face rather than the wrinkles smile lines in the corners of my eyes-

The one that sees the size on the label and smiles because it so much smaller than it used to be without focusing on the muffin-top that bulges over the waistline of the pants-

The one that focuses on having a roof overhead rather than the dust bunnies in the corners.

If I can make a conscious effort to do this---- then my spirit will not be crushed and I might not feel quite so "Old".

Spiritual Vitamins

I am in the middle of Week 9 of the Stressed-Less Living and boy is it working!

Several months ago, I made a conscious decision to spend more time with the Lord. I was always the first one in our house to awaken, so that seemed a natural time for me to be alone with God, praying, reading his word, and thinking about his purpose for me and my life. This led me back to something that I had discovered through KLove radio: Proverbs 31 Ministries.

I began reading the daily Encouragement devotional that was posted on the computer. Then I would read the daily Bible passage that was there and spend some time in prayer. A few weeks into this spiritual journey those spiritual vitamins: reading the Bible and praying were doing the trick. I was already heading out the door in a better mood, but then I would often come home after a day of school, burdened with work and stress.

Leave it to God to give me my next spiritual "prescription"!

One day as I was reading the devotional I was led to another blog by a contributing writer. This led me to a notice about the Stressed-Less Living Bible study. I had been wanting to participate in a Bible study but really needed one that I could work into my busy schedule. An online one seemed like a perfect fit, so I signed up and purchased the book.

Long story short....... this Bible study has been one more "spiritual vitamin" that I really needed. It has also helped me to recognize just how essential it is to make time on a daily basis for God.

I continue to start each morning with my daily dose of Bible reading, prayer, and devotion. I also find myself uttering silent prayers throughout the day whenever I feel a need being laid on my heart. KLove, which I mentioned earlier, is yet another spiritual vitamin that I use on a daily basis. My car radio stays tuned to that station and my daughter has come to love it as much as I do. Listening to the wonderful Christian music on the way to work each day helps me get into a positive mindset and hearing it on my way home helps me shed some of stress and negativity that can befall me during a day of work.

I am sure that every one of you, at one time or another, was given a prescription for some type of vitamin, pill, or medication and was told to finish the entire bottle. Then you went home and started dutifully taking the medicine as prescribed. When you "felt better" you left the bottle sitting there, until you felt the symptoms returning. OR...... Maybe you had a prescription and you finished the bottle, but you just didn't get it refilled.

Well, I have been given a LIFETIME prescription for these spiritual vitamins! I have come to the realization that I MUST daily spend time in prayer, reading, and Bible study in order to strengthen my body, my mind, and my spirit. Isaiah 12:2 reads:

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord, even the Lord, is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.

If God is to be my strength, then I need to exercise my spiritual being by spending time with him. I have often told my students that they need to read and study in order to exercise and strengthen their minds. I now understand that I need to do my prayer, reading, and Bible study in order to exercise and strengthen my spiritual being. Without my daily dose of these spiritual vitamins, I will return to the same stressed out woman who sometimes wanted to pull out her hair under the mountain of life's stresses.

Won't you join me? I highly recommend these vitamins! They WILL change your life.

Slowly But Surely....

Eight weeks ago I started on a journey........

A journey to a LESS STRESSED ME.........

The road has been brightly lit, but a bit bumpy and full of many caution and stop signs.

When I started on the Stressed-Less Living Bible study I really expected to learn ways to eliminate or wipe out the many stresses in my life, but I have discovered something much greater than that. I have discovered that involving God more in my daily life, my daily thought processes, and my decision making will not necessarily ELIMINATE my stresses, but it will better enable me to deal with them.

On Sunday, my minister delivered a sermon based on Romans 5, verses 1 through 11. What he had to say spoke directly to my heart. I have no doubt that God had delivered the message to him at just the right time for me. It meshed very well with what I had been studying in this Bible study.

Any doubts that I might have had flew fleetly away when I opened the daily Bible reading on Proverbs 31 today and discovered that it was the EXACT SAME TEXT. When I sat down in front of the computer this morning, I had asked the Lord, "Please help me know what to discuss in my blog this week." In that one moment, as I looked at the screen, I knew that God had sent me the text for my weekly post.

You see, this passage deals with patience, experience, and hope.

Romans 5
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! 10 For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

I had been suffering through my stress...... through my life for a very long time. There were points during the last year especially when I just wanted to say, "Let this crazy bus STOP! I want to get off!" I had cried out to my friends, my family, and my colleagues, but it took a lot of suffering before I finally discovered this Bible study and learned that what I really needed to do was cry out to GOD! Within the last 8 weeks, I have learned that only God can provide me with the inner peace that I so badly craved.

At the same time, I also learned, as Romans 5 verse 3 says, that my suffering produces perseverance. All this time I think I wanted God to eliminate my stress, when what I really needed to do was use that stress to develop my stamina- my ability to deal with stress. Because that is what will ultimately produce my character and therefore- my hope.

That is where I now stand. I stand in hope-

Hope that with God's help, I can better make choices about where to delegate my time and energy-

Hope that I can continue to be helpful and a hard worker..... a provider for my family.... but that with God's help I can face my stress more calmly simply because I have involved him in the process.

I am still on my journey.

It is going to be a long one, but if I continue to take one day at a time. I WILL slowly, but surely, reach my destination- a TRULY Stressed-Less ME!

A Change of Attitude

WHATEVER!

As the mother of a teenager, I have heard that word a lot in the past 5 years. Even before she turned thirteen and officially entered that life stage of  "teenager",  her father and I would often hear our daughter utter "Whatever" as her response to something we told her. We always knew that the word signaled an attitude somewhere within her- an attitude that meant that she had put up an invisible wall and no longer wished to carry on any form of a discussion with us. This sometimes would get in the way when we were trying to impart some piece of what we viewed as life wisdom.

As I read this week's chapter of Stressed-Less Living, I realized that I also have attitudes. In particular, there are 2 types of attitudes that tend to get in the way of my receiving the full blessings from God: an "I Can Do It" attitude and an "I'm not good enough" attitude.

At first glance the "I Can Do It" attitude might seem a positive thing, but allow me to take a minute to explain what I mean and I think you will understand the negative connotation that it actually holds. Too often when faced with a problem, I say, "I can do it! I can take care of this! Here is what I am going to do." Sounds good.... right?......

WRONG! Something is missing. When faced with the problem I took it into my own hands and failed to stop and include the most important person, GOD. The solution that I perceive as the correct one may not be the one that God intended. Sometimes when I jump in and try to take care of it.... things just get worse and I end up enduring stress and strains that I might not have, had I just turned things over to God in the first place and had faith that he could... and would... provide a solution.

Then there's the "I'm not good enough" attitude. That one rears its head a LOT in my life. I have doubts about my appearance, doubts about the quality of my mothering skills, doubts about how good I am at teaching, and this inner feeling that I am not as good a wife as I could be because my house is not as clean as the ones I see on the internet. One of the morning shows earlier this week did a good job explaining how the worldwide-web creates feelings of insufficiency in women like me. We go online and see the blogs of mothers who spend literally HOURS baking and decorating a child's birthday cake and then we run to the nearest superstore for a commercially prepared one, all the while feeling guilty. We sit down to cruise through Pinterest and we see pin after pin of some amazing craft or organization idea that another mother has posted. Inside our heads we think, "That's a great idea... if I had the time or the talent, but I could never do it." It's a lot like peer pressure, I suppose. We see others who are seemingly "Super Woman" and we want to achieve that status too.

Through this week's readings I have come to realize that if I am ever to overcome, or even decrease, the stress within my life I am going to have to turn down the volume on those two attitude voices and crank up the volume on God's voice. Philipians 4:8 says it best:

I need to focus my thinking on godly thoughts. Instead of focusing on the piles of things that my children leave around the house, I need to think about how thankful I am to have a wonderful home in which to live and raise my family. Instead of thinking enviously about someone else's talent or idea, I need to think about what my own God-given talents are and how I can use them for his purpose. Instead of jumping in and saying, "I'll take care of it!" I need to take the situation to God in prayer and allow him to either provide a solution in his own time and way OR wait for him to show me the path that he would have me to take.

Don't get me wrong. It isn't going to be easy. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have that total trust in someone else, even if it is God. For too long, I have been independent, stubborn, and even bull-headed. That isn't going to change overnight, but with God's help and continued Bible study and prayer it WILL change.

Seeking God

Pride- That was one of the topics on the discussion list this week in the Stressed-Less Living online Bible study. I sat down to look up the definition of the word and WOW! I was hit right between the eyes with a lightning bolt!

As a teacher and a mother I had always focused on the definition of pride which revolves around building your self-esteem. That would be definition number 3 at dictionary.com:

a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect; self-esteem. 

And then there was definition number 4: 

pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself: civic pride. 

  

The lightning bolt hit me when I looked at definition number 1: 

a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. 

I have always taught my English students that the FIRST definition in the dictionary is typically the most frequently used one. If this is the case, then PRIDE has a very negative connotation most of the time. 

As I read Chapter Six of the Stressed-Less book, titled "I Can Do it Myself.... or Can I?" I found myself becoming a bit uncomfortable. This chapter focused on how our pride sometimes adds to or creates our stress. I think that is a big part of my problem. I often find myself jumping in and accepting a lot of duties that I do not HAVE to do. With more things added on my plate, my stress level increases. I can't get things done as well as I might have, simply because I am over-stretched. When I don't do well at something, I feel even more stress.

Why do I do these things? Why do I take on the extra responsibilities? Probably for a combination of reasons. 

I take on extra paid responsibilities because I have always felt that it would mean more money to help pay bills for my family. After all, isn't that a parent's job.... to provide for the family? Through this Bible study I have come to realize that when I do this, I am actually jumping the gun... accepting a role or a job when I have not stopped to consider whether it is something that God sent my way or even planned for me to do. Even worse than that, accepting these jobs is sometimes a sign of lack of faith on my part. Instead of praying to God about the debt and having faith that he will provide, I find myself taking on yet another duty at school, attending another paid seminar, or squeezing in time to make another craft item to sell, trying to take care of debt on my own.

Even worse, I have to admit that PRIDE is a big reason that I do things. I want to be THE ONE who was in charge of that successful program. I want to be THE TEACHER who prepared and taught that wonderful unit. I want to be THE PERSON with "the answer" to whatever the problem or question was.

Our focus verse for this week reads:

I am trying to do that. I can see that the last 6 weeks have changed me quite a bit. I am taking the time to read my Bible each day, digging into each week's chapter in the Stressed-Less book, and thinking more about God and his will for me. I find myself sitting quietly and listening to conversations, where previously I would jump in and just blurt out my thoughts. I am taking time to carefully put together my words before I do speak them. I am spending more time in prayer and conversation with God and I am listening carefully, closely, for whatever way he chooses to speak to me. I am trying to take a back seat, focusing not on what I   can do, but what GOD wants me to do.

I know that the change won't happen over night. I also know that there will be times when I still jump in to try to rescue someone or something, but with God's help I can change. I just need to refine my focus- placing it on him, his will, and his purpose for me. I need to remember to put God first in my life and in my decision making process. I need to remember to stop and take a breath and ask him, "God is this what you would have me do?" I need to remember to turn my problems over to him and trust in him to solve them or to strengthen me to find the solution. I need to stress less over things and just put my faith in him.

Tomorrow is Another Day

I sat down this morning to do the Stressed-Less Living Bible Study with the intent to follow my usual pattern: Monday-Bible, Tuesday & Wednesday- Chapter, Thursday- Blog. God had other plans. Every time I did a new reading, a new idea would come into my mind and I would think to myself-Boy I need to write about that.

First I picked up the Bible to read the chapter in which the focus verse is located. Matthew chapter 6. I found myself in familiar territory. I had often heard the story of the origin of the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6: 9-13). I had often heard that God provides for even the birds in the field. (Matthew 6: 25-26) Then I got to the last verse in the chapter: Matthew 6:34 Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Hey! Wait a minute! Isn't that what Scarlett O'Hara said? This led me into an online search to find the exact words from the movie. (What can I say? I'm an English teacher. I expect citations and quotes to be accurate.)

In doing the search, I discovered that what Scarlett actually said was, "Tomorrow is another day." Regardless of the way it is worded, I think that Matthew 6:24 shows that God shares the same basic attitude. We should not worry about tomorrow, because it is going to come. It is going to be what it is going to be. It will have the same problems, pitfalls, and pains no matter how much we agonize and stress over it in our minds.

While searching for Scarlett's words, I came across another quote that I felt belonged right beside hers. Henry Ward Beecher said, "Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith." I prefer the handle of faith. I need to trust in God's greatness and his ability to provide. He can strengthen me to deal with whatever problems come my way. He can help provide the bridge that will get me over life's pits. He can comfort and soothe the pains and bruises that life inflicts. All I need to do is trust in him and pray to him to ask for his assistance.

Take Back Your Life

Here is am in the midst of Week 5 of the Stressed-Less Living Bible study. I also find myself in the midst of the last week of the school year. Somehow it seems rather appropriate, as my job is often one of the things that causes me to feel stress.  There have been many times this year when I have said that I feel like a hamster on a wheel, continuously running, going through the motions of daily life, without really enjoying it or taking time to relax. I have so wanted to "Take Back My Life."

I have said before that I think the Lord sent me to this Bible study and I truly believe this. The readings, the discussions, and the study questions have all given me great pause, and this week's is no different.

The first question at the end of Chapter 5 asks, "What childhood memories come to mind that bring back feelings of peace and joy?" Hmmm.... Let's see.....

• Family picnics at Berheim Forest- Mom and Dad would pack sandwich bread, chips, and lunchmeat into a cooler, load the whole family into the station wagon and we would just go walk around the park, pause by the stream, eat our sandwiches, and feed the ducks some of the leftover bread
• Trips to the ice cream store- On hot summer evenings it would sometimes get a bit too hot for us to fall asleep right away. (This was back before we had that wonderful thing known as central air conditioning. The only comfort we had was a slight breeze that would blow through the open window.) The three of us kids would usually be in our pajamas already, but fighting bedtime and sleep. Dad would once again load us into that old station wagon and take us on the short trek to the neighborhood ice cream parlor. Minutes later we were lounging in the back, licking away on our favorite flavored cone.
• Sunday afternoons with family and friends- Sunday mornings meant Sunday School and church, but Sunday afternoons meant relaxation. We often had church "family" who would come over to our house to dine and visit. I can remember making homemade ice cream while the minister and my father played horseshoes. I also remember playing games in the backyard with other children from church while the adults sat around on the front porch. 
• Cleaning the church- Mom and Dad were the couple who went on a weekly basis to clean the church and get things tidied up for the next week. We kids often went with them. My job was to roam through the aisles of the sanctuary and collect the cast-off Sunday bulletins that had been left behind. I would roam up and down each aisle, being sure to remember to ruffle through the hymnals for the sheets that got tucked in between the pages.

I could go on and on- there are thousands of wonderful memories. I did notice two factors that were common threads through all of them- Family and the Church. It seemed like there was always someone from church who would pop in at just the right time, kind words, a sweet dessert, or a smiling face. It also seemed that Mom and Dad were able to take the few minutes each day from their busy lives to spend time focusing just on us kids.

One lesson that has become apparent to me this week, is that I need to get back to those two common threads. I need to spend more time in thoughtful connection with God, I need to truly get connected with my church family, and I need to devote more time to my own family.

It is so easy to just keep working, trudging along on that hamster wheel that I mentioned earlier. I have always thought that rest came easy to people; it was something that you just did naturally. You worked and worked until finally your body gave out and you just RESTED. I have discovered that this is not the case. When you get on that hamster wheel and it keeps going round and round, it is EASY to maintain that momentum; you just keep working, walking, and going around in circles- complaining and griping the entire time. It takes effort to step aside and leave the wheel, take some time to read the Bible, pray to God, and spend real relaxation time away from work and stress. It isn't easy- BUT it sure is worth it!

I want to get back to the roots of my peace and joy: God and Family. I want to continue my Bible time and begin family Bible study each day. I want to make the time to join the Women's group at church and become active. I want to do simple things with my kids, like those family trips to an ice cream store. I want to reclaim my life and make it better than it has been. Dear Lord, help me to Take Back My Life!

Transformed....

It is week four of the Stressed-Less Living Bible study.....

and I have no doubt that God INTENDED for me to be here!

The last few months of my life have been filled with a great deal of turmoil and stress. This time last year I thought I was retiring and moving on to a new job- a leadership position that had been made possible by government grant money. The papers were filed, the party was held at school, the cake was cut, my retirement plaque was displayed on the mantel, and the "spoils" from 27 years of teaching had been distributed to my worthy colleagues.

Within weeks, everything would change: no retirement, my son was enrolled at an expensive university, and we were facing large amounts of college loans.

Since then, my husband, my son, and I have fretted and worried, pinched pennies, filed countless scholarship applications and taken on any extra position at school that might provide a few more dollars. The entire time, I allowed myself to stress over it, to cry over it, and occasionally (not faithfully, I am ashamed to say) prayed over it.

I discovered the link telling about this Bible study only days before it was set to begin. I actually went to a Bible bookstore and purchased my copy of the book only one day before the first web-post. I have no doubt that God guided me to that link. He knew that I needed help; he knew that I needed to stop fighting life and its stresses and allow HIM to get involved.

The first four weeks of this study have helped to transform me. I am stressing less and praying more. I am talking more to my friends about God and my beliefs. I am spending more time in quiet deliberation, thought, and conversation with God. I realize now that he has a plan- a plan for me to retire (some day), a plan for my son to finish college, and a plan for us to find the money necessary. He may also have other plans- plans that I am not aware of yet. Those plans will only be discovered if I continue to be transformed- becoming a person who is quiet.... calm.... listening for that still small voice, God's voice, as he makes those plans apparent to me.

Dear Lord,

I am ready......

Show me your good, pleasing, and perfect will.

S---T---R---E---S---S---

Whoever first uttered the word stress was a very wise person. I don't think they truly understood the depth of meaning in those individual letters.

This week at school, during some unexpected down-time, I was thinking that the letters in the word STRESS could actually be an acronym for what is so often experienced during this time of the year.

S     State

T     Testing

R     Reason for

 E     Excessive

S     School

S     Stress

During my 20+ years as a teacher, I have always been part of this trend: grumbles, breaking up student fights, headaches over assignments that are given at the last minute trying to squeeze in one more last review or skill, all of these resulting in mental and physical exhaustion.

Well, next week is state testing for us and I am trying desperately to apply a new acronym to the word:

S     Some

T     Time

R     Resting in

E     Eternal

S     Solace and

S     Strength

As I read the materials for this week's Bible study and focused on the guiding verse, I decided to dig a little deeper into the meaning. 

According to the dictionary, the word repent means "to feel regret, remorse, to change one's mind regarding past conduct, to turn away from sin, to creep along the ground". That is ME! I need to turn away from the unnecessary pressure that I place on both myself and my students during this time of year. I need to realize that I have taught long and hard, all school year. THAT is what will bring results. 

The word rest made me think of calmness and peace. That is what I want for ME, my family, and for my classroom. I want to be a quiet, calm place where my children and my students can escape some of the end of the year madness and I want my soul to have a quietness and calmness away from the world's madness.  

The last phrase "in quietness and trust is your strength"...... That trust needs to be trust in the LORD and he will give me strength. In my mind I think of this as the ability to overcome.

Taken in totality, I see this verse telling me that I need to spend more time resting in God's strength, calling on him to help provide me strength, and giving him the chance to provide guidance to help me make wise choices. That can bring me the quietness and calmness that I so desire.

The Calm Within the Storm

As I sit here writing this entry, there is a typical Kentucky spring storm brewing outside. Thunder is roaring, an occasional lightning bolt flashes through the darkness, and raindrops pound against the window. Despite this, I am calm......

This odd juxtaposition is all rather symbolic of the inner storm that has been brewing inside me.

The past 12 months of my life have brought many changes, many of which created more personal stress for me. My oldest child graduated from high school and began college. In helping him make his choice regarding where to attend, I tried hard not to focus on cost, but with each new college came a new tuition rundown, usually with bigger numbers. It didn't help that his top choice had probably the HIGHEST tuition in the state. Those who follow my blog know that I planned an early retirement in order to take another job. I kept thinking that my monthly retirement check plus the check from my "other" job would take care of things. At the last minute, the retirement system stepped in and threw a cog into the works, tearing apart my plans, and leaving me worrying about how to fund my son's tuition.  Though the college provided a great deal of assistance we could not escape the inevitable college loans, increasing the already large financial burden on my family.

Also within the past 12 months, my father-in-law and my husband's older brother both died. My own father experienced at least two months of health issues before finally going into the hospital for surgery. In addition, the implementation of new education reforms in Kentucky created an entirely new mountain of paperwork and duties for me, a teacher who already dedicated far too much personal time to her career.

All of these things combined to create that inner storm I mentioned at the beginning of this post- the one that created a stressed, worried, whiny, grumpy me. You see, as each stress was added to my life I allowed it to weigh me down even further. I worried about money and pinched pennies tighter and tighter. I fretted over every single bill that came in the mail and ever item that I bought. I spent my lunch hours listening to my peers complain about school, students, and whatever the latest work obligation might be. Not only did I listen; I added my own "belly-aching" to theirs. I am a stress eater and all of this stress caused me to eat more, and usually the wrong things. This caused me to gain back the 20 pounds that I had worked so hard to lose a couple of years ago.

At this point you are probably saying, "OK.... I understand the storm reference, but what about the calm? Where does that come in?" Well, that calm is a work in progress. As you know, I am participating in the Stressed-Less Living online Bible study. Here is this week's focus verse:

As I read this week's chapter and did the activities, I realized that I have been trying to take care of far too many things on my own. I have focused so much on the tuition cost of my son's education when what I really need to do is have faith that God will provide. There will always be another assignment that needs to be graded, another lesson plan that needs to be written, and some student that is just having "a bad day."I need to lean more on God to help me plan lessons that will meet the needs of my students, help me find time to get the paperwork done, and help me maintain an enthusiasm for my chosen career. In short, I need to do what the verse says, call on the Lord and allow him to help me with my distress.

Since I started this Bible study I have noticed an increased peace within me. I am not grumbling as much and my students have even noticed. This morning as I walked down the hallway before first bell, quietly singing a gospel song, one of my students said, "Mrs. Baker, why are you in such a good mood?" I just smiled and said, "It's a good day."

Fear Not....

This week the Stressed-Less Living Bible study began. I can only say that this is going to be the most powerful 12 weeks of Bible study and personal growth that I have experienced in a very long time.

This is the focus verse for our first week.

As I read the words and the chapter I began to realize that much of my personal stress is self-inflicted. I need to learn to turn things over to God the things that are beyond my control and I need to learn to turn to God more frequently in order to discover those things that he REALLY DOES want me to do.

I have always been the kind of person who, when seeing something that needed doing, jumped in and tried to do it. I didn't stop to think about whether or not I was MEANT to do it. If there was a committee or an event at school that needed a lead person, I was there. If there was a club or organization that needed a sponsor, I was there. If there was a dance after school and they needed one more chaperone, students knew that they could come to me. Usually I would rework my schedule and take on whatever duties needed doing. Afterwards, of course, I would go home and sit and grade papers or worry because I didn't get everything done that I FELT I should.

I think that I now realize what I need to do is stop and ask God for guidance. OK... there is a committee that needs someone. Am I intended for it? What is God's will? If I do commit myself to the task at hand, I also can't beat myself up over the related duties. I need to realize that God is there and he will only give me what I can handle.

As I read the Bible verse and the chapter I kept seeing the reference to God being at my right-hand. I came to the realization that he truly is the BEST Right-Hand Man that I could have! He is always there; I just need to learn to lean on him a bit more for guidance and support.

I can't wait to see what the coming weeks of this Bible study hold for me! It isn't too late. Feel free to join in. You are sure to be blessed!

An Energy Reboot

I have decided that it is time for me to get an energy boost. I have been devoting so much of my time and energy to school, work, and others. The stress has really worn me out. Yesterday, while I was reading my daily devotional online, I found the perfect opportunity for a re-focus.

While reading my morning devotional I came to a tiny little note at the bottom, leading me to this blog:

http://melissataylor.org/and-more/

When I read about the online Bible study that is beginning April 7, I KNEW that this was meant for me! The Bible study will use the book Stressed-Less Living  by Tracie Miles as its foundation. The title alone makes me want to join in. I can definitely use LESS STRESS.

It isn't too late. I invite all of you to go to Melissa's link, sign up for the Bible study, purchase the book, and learn how to live with less stress. I am headed to the Bible bookstore on Saturday to pick up my copy, along with a journal to record my notes and reflections. I can't wait!