Don't Spill the Beans

I may be showing my age a bit here, but who out there remembers THIS game? 

Growing up, it was one of my favorites. I loved to play it with my brothers, stacking the beans on top, one by one, awaiting that moment when a player would finally place one too many beans on the stack and the pot would tilt and overturn, spilling everything all over the table top. 

I had not really thought about the game much. It was just one of those fun little tidbits from my childhood tucked away in my memory. Then, this week, the game took on a whole new significance for me personally. 

My life for the past couple of months has felt much like that bean pot- duty after duty, appointment after appointment, personal stress on top of personal stress. Instead of the fun game from my childhood, I found myself wondering what little thing life would throw at me that would finally be the ultimate "pot-spill" moment. What would cause me to crash to the ground emotionally? Well, this weekend that pot spilled!

A couple of months ago my husband broke his foot- his right foot- his driving foot- and that has meant that I am doing all of the driving, getting myself to work and taxiing him to his many meetings and appointments. The foot is still in a boot and is healing very slowly. As a result, it looks like I could have several more weeks of taxi duty. I also recently took on a part time job at the local elementary, a position funded through grant money and working with early childhood literacy. My daughter is in the midst of a stressful senior year of nursing school and has required some hand-holding and attention and my mother suffers from dementia. My father is her full-time care giver, but when he needs to do something out of the home, I am the one called upon to come and take care of her. The cherry on top of the whole emotional sundae is the upcoming marriage of my daughter, next August. With her in college, I am doing a lot of the "grunt work" and I am also spending spare time crocheting items to sell to help make some of the money to pay for the wedding. 

Then Friday, the final bean got placed on top of the pot- my maternal grandparent's house burned, likely by arson. My mother and father had inherited the property in February when my aunt died and Dad has been working diligently to clear it out and get it ready to sell. We had encountered some legal issues and have been working through those, but we could not get them resolved quickly enough. The house was a total loss. Already ill with bronchitis and faced with the burning of that property and the emotional trauma, I suffered my personal crash. 

I found myself emotionally and physically drained, crying to a friend and pouring out my woes. God used her in that moment. She took my hand, wrapped an arm around me, and began praying for me. With each word from her mouth, my sobs calmed a bit, my breathing eased, and my weight began lifting. God's calming spirit began filling me and I knew that I could go on. My personal "beanpot" had been uprighted- empty for now. Yes, life will begin filling it again, bean by bean, but I can always count on God to help me find my balance and come through. 

Isaiah 41:13 says, 

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you."

God used my friend as an earthly answer for the comfort I needed in that moment, but I need to remember that I can always call on him to offer that emotional comfort when I need it. When I find myself off-kilter and unbalanced because of life's many stresses, I need to remember to pause a moment, take a breath, and seek God's help. He can and will help me through!