Settling In

Friday came and, with it, I retired. I don't really feel a lot different. My body is still on the school clock, waking up this morning bright and early at 5 AM. (I am hoping that will change.) I still find myself checking email to see if I have anything that needs my immediate attention and I still have those school related pins that keep popping up on my Pinterest feed. The fact that I am actually retired has not really set in yet.

The last week was an eventful one. My students spoiled me rotten. With the last day of school for students being Thursday, the gifts and cards started rolling in on Tuesday. I managed to hold the tears back until Thursday itself. When my students were sitting in my classroom awaiting that final, "Students are dimissed," it began to sink in. This was IT. My last group of students, my last "last day", and my last official day as a teacher. That is when the tears began... 

Then my sweet daughter and hubby showed up at the door with a gift bag and the tears poured! They brought me a crown and a sign, declaring me queen for the day. (The bear was a gift from a student.)

Friday was even harder for me. I went in as late as I would allow myself- (keep in mind that I am known for arriving at school at least an hour before my students). First stop- the office, to turn in my keys. The tears started again and they continued off and on for most of the day.

At lunch my middle school team surprised me with something I have been longing for: a Cracker Barrel rocking chair. 

It has been really difficult to think of leaving these guys. They have been my family for years now. If you want to see a real TEAM in action, we were that. The whole district knew us as a team. We planned together, ate together, laughed together, and cried together. I love them and I will miss them. I have already warned them that I will be returning, with food in hand, to sit down for lunch and hear the latest gossip.

As far as plans for retirement go, I tell people that there are 4 things on my "to do" list: read more, cook more, crochet more, and clean more. This week I have attempted to get started. I have swept, mopped, scrubbed, and reorganized 2 bathrooms and started on another couple of rooms. I am into chapter 6 or so of a freebie book that I downloaded ages ago to my Kindle, I have had a warm supper on the table each of the last 3 days, and I have been catching up on the last of my crochet orders. I have even been able to experience an afternoon nap each of the last 2 days. I think I can get used to this... LOL!

Over the next week I hope to come up with a plan that will allow me to regularly update this blog. I am muddling things over in my mind and trying to decide how best to use this as a platform for all of the things that I want to do: share my family, my faith, and my fun stuff with everyone. I will keep you updated. 

It's That Time......

In a way, it is hard for me to believe that this time has come. It seems like only last week when I walked out that classroom door and thought to myself, "Now it's time for ME!" I had big plans for the summer, most of them being things that I wanted to do just because I had not had time during the school year. Some of them I accomplished; some of them I didn't. Whatever the case, come next Monday morning at 8 A.M. I will be sitting in a teacher's meeting contemplating the next 10 months of my life.

Last night was our annual Back-to-School event with the usual supply distribution, schedule handout, and meet and greet. I found myself remarkably calm about the whole thing. This calmness is a bit of a shock to me. After all, our school has lost several staff members due to retirement and budget cuts, likely resulting in larger class sizes and increased demands on teachers. Within the past 2 weeks our school has experienced the added loss of 2 enrichment teachers, as they found positions elsewhere. Because of this, we face the possibility of beginning the year with at least one of those positions vacant for at least a few days. I have not revised last year's class syllabus yet and I don't have lesson plans down-pat for the first weeks of school, yet I still feel an inner peace.

I think this is largely due to the fact that I now realize I have a full-time support system.

Don't get me wrong.... I always had my husband and my kids here. I knew that they would listen to my complaints, offer up advice, and even try to help with the things that caused me stress, but I had forgotten about the one person who could actually GIVE ME REST. Participating in the Stressed-Less Living Bible study this year has really helped confirm to me what I always knew.... when I need a break there is really only 1 person who can truly give it to me- the Lord.

Matthew 11: 28-30 says

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. 

God WILL give me rest! Exactly when I need it............ I only need to seek him and learn about him. The first part of 2013 has seen me renewing my dedication to Bible study and devotions and it has truly been wonderful!

Being so blessed by the last online Bible study, there was no doubt in my mind that I needed to be involved in the next one. This one will focus on the book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, by Lysa Terkeurst. Even though the Bible study begins August 4, it isn't too late for you to join us. You can check the Proverbs 31 ministry for more information. 

Here's a link:

What Happens When Women Say Yes to Go Online Bible Study

Take Back Your Life

Here is am in the midst of Week 5 of the Stressed-Less Living Bible study. I also find myself in the midst of the last week of the school year. Somehow it seems rather appropriate, as my job is often one of the things that causes me to feel stress.  There have been many times this year when I have said that I feel like a hamster on a wheel, continuously running, going through the motions of daily life, without really enjoying it or taking time to relax. I have so wanted to "Take Back My Life."

I have said before that I think the Lord sent me to this Bible study and I truly believe this. The readings, the discussions, and the study questions have all given me great pause, and this week's is no different.

The first question at the end of Chapter 5 asks, "What childhood memories come to mind that bring back feelings of peace and joy?" Hmmm.... Let's see.....

• Family picnics at Berheim Forest- Mom and Dad would pack sandwich bread, chips, and lunchmeat into a cooler, load the whole family into the station wagon and we would just go walk around the park, pause by the stream, eat our sandwiches, and feed the ducks some of the leftover bread
• Trips to the ice cream store- On hot summer evenings it would sometimes get a bit too hot for us to fall asleep right away. (This was back before we had that wonderful thing known as central air conditioning. The only comfort we had was a slight breeze that would blow through the open window.) The three of us kids would usually be in our pajamas already, but fighting bedtime and sleep. Dad would once again load us into that old station wagon and take us on the short trek to the neighborhood ice cream parlor. Minutes later we were lounging in the back, licking away on our favorite flavored cone.
• Sunday afternoons with family and friends- Sunday mornings meant Sunday School and church, but Sunday afternoons meant relaxation. We often had church "family" who would come over to our house to dine and visit. I can remember making homemade ice cream while the minister and my father played horseshoes. I also remember playing games in the backyard with other children from church while the adults sat around on the front porch. 
• Cleaning the church- Mom and Dad were the couple who went on a weekly basis to clean the church and get things tidied up for the next week. We kids often went with them. My job was to roam through the aisles of the sanctuary and collect the cast-off Sunday bulletins that had been left behind. I would roam up and down each aisle, being sure to remember to ruffle through the hymnals for the sheets that got tucked in between the pages.

I could go on and on- there are thousands of wonderful memories. I did notice two factors that were common threads through all of them- Family and the Church. It seemed like there was always someone from church who would pop in at just the right time, kind words, a sweet dessert, or a smiling face. It also seemed that Mom and Dad were able to take the few minutes each day from their busy lives to spend time focusing just on us kids.

One lesson that has become apparent to me this week, is that I need to get back to those two common threads. I need to spend more time in thoughtful connection with God, I need to truly get connected with my church family, and I need to devote more time to my own family.

It is so easy to just keep working, trudging along on that hamster wheel that I mentioned earlier. I have always thought that rest came easy to people; it was something that you just did naturally. You worked and worked until finally your body gave out and you just RESTED. I have discovered that this is not the case. When you get on that hamster wheel and it keeps going round and round, it is EASY to maintain that momentum; you just keep working, walking, and going around in circles- complaining and griping the entire time. It takes effort to step aside and leave the wheel, take some time to read the Bible, pray to God, and spend real relaxation time away from work and stress. It isn't easy- BUT it sure is worth it!

I want to get back to the roots of my peace and joy: God and Family. I want to continue my Bible time and begin family Bible study each day. I want to make the time to join the Women's group at church and become active. I want to do simple things with my kids, like those family trips to an ice cream store. I want to reclaim my life and make it better than it has been. Dear Lord, help me to Take Back My Life!

School's Out..... School's Out........ Well, ALMOST

This week is Teacher's Appreciation Week. Ironically, it is also the last week of our school year. As I sit here, I face only two more days with my eighth grade classes. Two more days of, "Please sit down." Two more days of, "WHY don't you have a pencil?" Two more days of teenage drama. Two more days of maintaining my sanity.

Actually, this year has not been as bad as I expected. For the MOST part, my students have really tried. I have pushed them hard and I can honestly say that the majority of them have met my expectations.

It is about this time of the year when students start asking, "Mrs. Baker, will you miss me?" My standard answer is "I don't get time to miss anyone. When I send one group out the door, another one comes in."

Because of this, it is also the time of the year when I start trying to wrap my head around a new school year, with new students, new expectations, and new units of instruction. I have always been one of those "fuddy-duddy" teachers who attends trainings in the summer, plans the first month of lessons, and comes in at least a week early to get my classroom all organized and ready.

You see, teaching was always my first choice of career. My mother kept one of those little books where she would keep my report card and student work samples and I would write things at the end of each school year: height, weight, what I would be when I grew up. When I look back through that book I see the same word written each year, "Teacher."

As I finish yet another year in my chosen career, I do have a few insights to share with anyone who might be contemplating a career in education:

• There will be bad days, those days when nothing you seem to try works. At the same time, there will be good days, the days when you will walk out the door with a smile a mile wide and a dancing lilt in your step.
• Try as you might, you will NEVER make EVERYONE happy. There is no way to completely meet the expectations of every single parent, every single student, and every single administrator. Resolve to try, but be willing to accept the fact that there will be days when you think that the whole world is dissatisfied with what you are doing.
• Teachers really DO have a lasting effect. Teaching middle school students, I have come to accept the fact that the majority of them don't have school at the top of their priority list. Let's face it, many of them don't have it in their top ten. There are a lot of students who think that my only goal in life is to find another assignment that will torture them and require some of their free time.  Give those same adolescents a few years to grow up and they will come back to thank me for what I tried to do for them. Several times a year I will have former students who stop me in the grocery store line to apologize for their behavior as a seventh or eighth grader and to thank me for trying to educate them. It just takes some time for them to realize it.

I have not been the perfect teacher, but I have tried to do what God asked in Titus 2:7.

Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,

As I close out this school year and prepare for the new one, I ask that God would be with me and continue to help me to be the best teacher that I can be; not only one who instructs in reading and English, but serves as an example of character and a testimony of God's love.

S---T---R---E---S---S---

Whoever first uttered the word stress was a very wise person. I don't think they truly understood the depth of meaning in those individual letters.

This week at school, during some unexpected down-time, I was thinking that the letters in the word STRESS could actually be an acronym for what is so often experienced during this time of the year.

S     State

T     Testing

R     Reason for

 E     Excessive

S     School

S     Stress

During my 20+ years as a teacher, I have always been part of this trend: grumbles, breaking up student fights, headaches over assignments that are given at the last minute trying to squeeze in one more last review or skill, all of these resulting in mental and physical exhaustion.

Well, next week is state testing for us and I am trying desperately to apply a new acronym to the word:

S     Some

T     Time

R     Resting in

E     Eternal

S     Solace and

S     Strength

As I read the materials for this week's Bible study and focused on the guiding verse, I decided to dig a little deeper into the meaning. 

According to the dictionary, the word repent means "to feel regret, remorse, to change one's mind regarding past conduct, to turn away from sin, to creep along the ground". That is ME! I need to turn away from the unnecessary pressure that I place on both myself and my students during this time of year. I need to realize that I have taught long and hard, all school year. THAT is what will bring results. 

The word rest made me think of calmness and peace. That is what I want for ME, my family, and for my classroom. I want to be a quiet, calm place where my children and my students can escape some of the end of the year madness and I want my soul to have a quietness and calmness away from the world's madness.  

The last phrase "in quietness and trust is your strength"...... That trust needs to be trust in the LORD and he will give me strength. In my mind I think of this as the ability to overcome.

Taken in totality, I see this verse telling me that I need to spend more time resting in God's strength, calling on him to help provide me strength, and giving him the chance to provide guidance to help me make wise choices. That can bring me the quietness and calmness that I so desire.