The Joys of Christmas

As my children have grown older, some of the traditional "magic" of Christmas has gone by the wayside. No more cookies left for Santa, fewer gifts that are surprises, more gifts that are chosen by them, and fewer craft projects. It has always made me a bit sad. Somehow I have always associated that special Christmas wonder with children: the twinkle in their eye as they wonder if the mall Santa is actually the real jolly old elf, their belief that reindeer really do fly, and the special joy that even the smallest toy can bring.

This year I was a bit more melancholy than normal. My son had hand-picked his big ticket item, a tablet for his use at college and he had even gone with me to hand select the traditional "clothes" items. He had lost quite a bit of weight this semester and we had to make sure that they fit him. My daughter had hand-picked her big ticket item too, a laptop computer and had been sitting right beside me when I ordered it on the computer. I really didn't expect Christmas morning to be as "special" as it used to be- but I was wrong.

When my son opened that box and actually got the tablet in his hand........

Well, you can see his smile. He was no less happy, even though he knew what was in the box.

As for my daughter, I did manage to spring a surprise or two on her. She loves sock monkeys and had seen some sock monkey pajamas at Target a few months back. I managed to find them for her and gave them to her Christmas Eve as her traditional "Christmas jammies". The big surprise came on Christmas morning though. I had been secretly working away for two days, crocheting a sock monkey for her. I finished it up at about 4 AM on Christmas morning. The smile on her face made the sleepless hours worth it!

In the end, I think I realized that the magic of Christmas could live in anyone's heart, regardless of age- even in the heart of this woman who is nearing the age of 50. Those little things that we do for each other, even when they are planned, that bright smile on the face of a loved one, a special moment shared together with family: that is the real magic of the holiday season. Just as Christ came to share God's love, it is our love for each other that makes that warm spot in our hearts.

As I watched my daughter dance around the living room to her "One Direction" cd, Keurig hot cocoa in hand, and bright smiling face I could never doubt that this was a truly wonderful Christmas!

Sorry So Long....

It seems like literally AGES since I posted.
I have no excuse other than the typical "Life got in the way."

My father has been in poor health since sometime in October. He has been experiencing prostate swelling for years and has been on medication. A few weeks ago he began experiencing more prostate problems, along with some back and leg pain. The doctors diagnosed him with sciatica and began experimenting with various medications and treatments.

Nothing seemed to be working. Finally the doctors decided that it was time to just go ahead and do a procedure on the prostate. When they admitted him into the hospital and began the surgery they discovered that he had a complete blockage. This began an extended hospital stay, ending with the removal of the entire prostate.

Things were looking up and Dad thought that he would be coming home the next day, but it was not to be. He began vomiting extensively and they did x-rays to see if there was an internal problem. Once again they decided that he would need another procedure. They went in and placed a stint in the kidney to drain it.

FINALLY on Friday, December 21 they released Dad from the hospital. My sweet hubby and I went to pick him up and take him home. Dad is on several medications and is walking a bit carefully, but he is doing SO MUCH better! I thank the Lord that he provided Dad with some comfort and strength to get through this.

Dad is not one of those men who takes illness or being idle very well. He much prefers to be up and about, able to do whatever he decides he wants to do. At the age of 72, I am trying to convince him that it is time to slow down a bit and take a break, but I am not sure that he will listen. I am just grateful that he is still here with us to enjoy this Christmas season.

A Time of Thanksgiving

The past week has been simply wonderful.

School ended on Tuesday and my son came home on Wednesday. We had Thanksgiving dinner with Glenn's family on Thursday and with my family on Friday. In between there were moments of self reflection, smiles, and feelings of contentment.

It wasn't the turkey or the ham. It wasn't the beautiful lights on the newly decorated Christmas tree. It wasn't even the bargains that we managed to grab while Black Friday shopping on Friday afternoon. None of those things make me smile.

It was the true feeling of Thankfulness that flooded my heart.

I am thankful for so much- too many things to list.

As I look around me at other families that are being racked by bitter arguments and divorce, I am thankful that I have a loving, caring husband who works every day to try to provide the things that we need. Though our date nights are few and far between, I never doubt that he does truly love me and would do anything that he could for me.

Though I do have arguments and disagreements with my daughter, I am thankful that God blessed our family with her. The times when we do get to sit down and actually talk or work on a project help remind me that she is a kind, creative, giving young woman.

Though my son is away from home at college and his phone calls are few and very short, I am thankful that he does come home. When things get difficult with his classes or when something goes his way and he wants to celebrate, he does call us, and that lets me know that he is still a part of our family.

My job, though filled with long hours, blesses our family with a paycheck for which I am grateful. I have colleagues who are helpful and who provide a listening ear and a comforting shoulder when I need them most.

I could go on and on..... but this blog would turn into a book. Let me just say that I give thanks to God for the MANY blessings that he has given me and my family. As we enter into the Christmas season I hope to share my blessings, my joy, and the love of Christ with all of those with whom I come in contact.

Incomplete Family Moments

Last night was the first Halloween without the whole family home at some point together. It didn't feel right, though we did try to put on a festive face.

The family costume thing was Kari's idea. I think that part of the reason behind it was that she knew it would just be the three of us. We all knew that Keenan wouldn't have dressed up, even IF he had been here, but it still didn't feel quite right.

Throughout the day it hit home with me that these "incomplete" feelings are just going to get more frequent in coming years. Both of my children are growing older and will be leaving the nest. My parents are older and I will lose them too. I don't know if I am quite prepared to deal with all of that.

In recent weeks we have lost a number of friends. We experienced 3 deaths within our community on the same day this past weekend. As I see friends deal with their loss I know that I will need their support and God's as these incomplete feelings enter my own life. For now, I am thankful that I can look forward to Thanksgiving and having my own family together one more time, God willing.

FINALLY!

As promised last weekend, I decided to just make some time to do something I wanted.... scrapbooking of course!

I selected a photo that I really liked that had a good back story and worked a little at a time: selecting papers one day, beginning the design one day, and then continuing the work a little bit more each day until finally- this morning I finished it.

Now, this isn't my greatest layout ever, but it has an even greater significance for me. It helped me to realize that it is not HOW much scrapbooking I get done or even how "professional" the pages end up. What matters is the fact that I get to use my creativity and just DO SOMETHING! Selecting each piece of paper, brad, stamp, and element relaxes me and helps me forget about the stress and strain of paperwork. Of course, it is still there.... but for just a few minutes I am able to push it to the back of my mind and just have FUN!

This definitely won't be the last page for me. I may not get one done every week, but I will definitely make more time for this hobby that I love!

The Plank in my Eye

Today at church the sermon really hit home with me. The minister was speaking about how we sometimes are so busy looking at others and their problems that we overlook things that we need to work on. He also discussed how God could not bless us unless we prayed and studied the Word. His biblical reference was from Luke chapter 6: ⁴¹ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴² How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

As I listened to him I kept thinking of myself, lecturing my students about setting priorities in their own lives in order to make time for schoolwork. The thought came to me that I could not be a good example to them if I did not make priorities in my own life for what was important: family and self.

I really think that God may have been telling me that I need to step in and do something of my own to take care of this situation. Life itself isn't going to step in and say, "Take a break. Do it for yourself." It is really up to me to make it a priority. I truly think that if I do, then maybe my outlook on life in general will improve.

I have set a goal to begin a scrapbook page at some point this week (and hopefully finish it). I have also set a goal to sit down each night with my daughter and just talk..... maybe not about school, but just about what is on her mind.

Check back later in the week to see if that "Plank" is disappearing my eye.

Lost in a Sea.....

There are times when I feel as though I am just drifting through life, lost in a sea of events with no real control over them. I get tossed about by the waves that are created : some of them tumultuous and storm driven, some of them calming.

I don't remember when the feeling started; I can't point at one thing and say, "That is when I gave up control." I wish I could. Then I might be able to figure out how to go back and reclaim it. Instead I keep drifting- another meeting that someone says I must attend, another task that is required of my job, another day with little or no rest.

There are some people who say that it will change- WHEN I retire. If I knew that would make the difference I might actually consider it, but I am not convinced. I think that I have been SO busy for the past several decades- being a wife, being a mother, being a teacher- that I may have just forgotten how to be the essential ME.How do I relearn that? Is it even possible? Until I find the answer, I suppose that I will stay here, drifting and allowing the waves of life to carry me.