Mixed up Feelings

With back to school this week, I found myself getting rather melancholy. It was so strange to head off to high school with only one child. I felt sentimental as I watched my "baby girl" get ready for her first day of junior year.

Where's the little girl who loved to color with crayons and cuddle with stuffed animals? Now I have a daughter who is fascinated with her college level anatomy and physiology class.

The weekend brought even more emotional highs and lows as my son and I went shopping to get the last few things on his college list. Instead of looking for video games we were looking at desk lamps and small printers.

My one consolation was that, as I listened to Kari talk about her first few days of junior year and Keenan discuss his college classes and upcoming orientation, I could also feel pride mixed in with the "Mommy blues". I can tell that we have done a good job preparing both of them for the challenges that they will face in coming years. They are mature when they need to be, but they can also relax and slip back into that "kid" role when it feels comfortable. Kari keeps her large sock monkey on the bed, and Keenan can find pleasure helping me with a craft project.

 I guess this is what it must feel like when the Mommy bird has to sit by and watch as the baby bird takes wing for the first time: a bit of nervousness about whether their wings are strong enough to hold them up and happiness that they are prepared to try to find their own path.