Gettin' in the Flow

Proverbs 4:25

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.

 

Valerie Burton calls it "flow", but I call it "focus". You've probably had one of those moments- the one where everything just falls into place and you are working on something, devoting your all, with no interruptions and nothing to sway you from your purpose.

 

I used to have those moments a lot, but not so much lately.

 

One of the things that my daughter hates to do the most is clean house with me. There I will be cleaning the living room when I make a stack of old magazines to throw away. I go to the trashcan and the trashcan is full, so of course I have to take the time to empty it. I can't have just a HALF bag of trash, so I empty ALL of the trashcans in the house. Then I have to take out the garbage. I sweep and vacuum the floors, but there are spots in the kitchen floor that really need mopping, so I dig out the mop. The spots won't come up, so I end up on my knees scrubbing away.

 

See a pattern?

 

I always thought that I was focused on one task- cleaning. After reading this week's chapter of Happy Women Live Better I now realize that I am allowing myself to be distracted from the task at hand. I may have set out with the purpose of just cleaning the living room, but I end up like the Energizer bunny, going....going.....going.....from one small thing to another, until either I don't see anything else that can be done or I simply collapse from exhaustion.

 

It isn't just cleaning that distracts me either. I have always been a "list person". Even if I don't take the time to actually write the list down or enter it into my cell phone notes, my mental list is still there. I really MUST get these 5 things completed today! Then I end up rushing from one thing to the next, trying desperately to check those things off my list.

 

The problem is that I am not taking the time to actually ENJOY anything that I am doing. I do it quickly; I do it concisely. Then I move to the next task. That list is always there looming in my mind, taunting me with the number of things that I have YET to finish.

 

So... what is the alternative?

 

Turn off that cell phone, unplug that television, and take the time to really devote your full attention to one task. FIND YOUR FLOW!

 

For me, the one time these days when I really "flow" is when I am doing some type of crafting. Just this past weekend I found myself, early on a Sunday morning in my silent craft room as the rest of the house slept. I needed a graduation card THAT DAY and I was determined to make it myself. A quick search on the internet and I found a card that I could use as a model. For the next hour or so I cut paper, folded it, cut more paper, trimmed, glued, and assembled until finally I had finished the card. I did not realize how long I had been working because I actually allowed myself to enjoy it!

 

The result?

 

THIS card.....

 

 

which my daughter says is her favorite card of all that I have ever created. (I secretly think it is probably one of my favorites too.)

 

I think that I need to do things like this more often. Crafting has always relieved my stress and now I know why- it makes me happier! I need to allow myself to truly put my eyes in one direction and not allow the stresses of today's to-do list or the dust around me to sway me from my purpose. I need to give myself a silent "ok" to focus on crafting something with my hands because the dust will still be there later.

 

What about you? What do you focus on that gives you happiness? What do find yourself lost in, savoring the moment and making you a happier YOU? I would love to hear your comments!



REAL Connection

I sat down this week to read about the next trigger in my Happy Women Live Better book: connection. One glance at the subtitle of the chapter, "Why you are less connected, more anxious, and have fewer close friends than women in previous generations", and I knew that this chapter would hit home with ME!

I have often felt that I was born in the wrong generation. I have always wanted to be one of those women with a back fence and a friend to share recipes with, chat over the day's happenings, and discuss life's latest hurdles. I long for those Sunday afternoons like the ones I remember from my childhood: my brothers and I would play with the neighbor children while Dad played a friendly game of horseshoes with the minister and whatever male neighbor dropped by, Mom would sit on the porch chit-chatting with the minister's wife and the neighbor from the corner.

Those days are gone----

My children are growing up with schedules of their own: academic competitions, athletic practices, club meetings. My husband and I sometimes have 12 hour days at work due to meetings, groups, and trainings. When we do come home we bring stacks of paperwork with us. Sunday afternoons are now the time to squeeze in a quick nap before tackling lesson plans for the upcoming school week and grading a few more papers.

There are times when I feel more like one of these:

running, running, running...... but never really getting anywhere.

With all of that running, it becomes very difficult to make REAL connections. Even in today's world of email, texting, Facebook, and Twitter, our conversations are short and to the point. Few people take the time to write handwritten notes because it is so much easier to just text a swift- How R U?

Last week I did my own sort of personal experiment to see if the younger generation could really appreciate something that they had never received- a hand written, from the heart message. I sat down with a stack of blank cards to write a personal message for each of my eighth grade students prior to our end-of-year testing. With almost 60 to write, I paced myself, composing 8 to 10 a day until they were finished. Some of them came easier than others. Some of them were more personal and detailed, but the important thing was that each card was meant to be an actual connection between me and that particular student.

On Friday of last week, I distributed the cards at a gathering. Four students were absent that day and did not receive their cards, leaving about 53 who did. When the students left at the end of the school day I went back to the small auditorium to pick up the cards that were left behind. I knew that there would be some, but I was pleasantly surprised. As I wandered up and down the rows of seats, I found only 5 cards that were left, carelessly tossed in the floor, in the crack between chairs, or behind a cushion.

Most heartwarming to me were the comments that I received: "Thank you, Mrs. Baker", "Mrs. Baker, you almost made me cry", and even a thank you from a mother whose son actually took his card home and shared it with her.

What does this show? Connections CAN be made in today's society (even with that so-hard-to-reach younger generation). We can connect with those around us, sharing our heartfelt messages. We only need to make the time.

Valorie Burton offers the following advice in her book:

• Stop typing and start talking- Pick up the phone and actually speak to a person rather than texting. Better yet, go visit them in person and spend some time REALLY talking.
• Make eye contact- This one speaks for itself. Look the person in the eye; that is the first connection that needs to be made.
• Get out of the house- Actually get out into the world and spend time with others. If you are not WITH them, how can you CONNECT with them?

 A real connection is sharing from the heart. God offers the following words about loving others in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

 

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

 It is this type of connection that will truly create happiness within us. It is that type of connection that we need more of in today's world!

I challenge you to go out today and try to make a connection with someone that you spend a lot of time with- someone that you may not REALLY know. Look that person in the eye, take the time to listen to what he or she has to say, and then share your heartfelt thoughts with them. 

You never know what a difference a connection can make. Those students who I wrote notes to last week? As I walk down the hallways this week, I have noticed more of them greeting me with a, "Good morning Mrs. Baker." More of them give me a smile and stop to share personal thoughts or comments. They seem happier and I know that I am! Maybe the notes that I wrote have something to do with it- maybe not, but I like to think that my efforts at connecting with them on a more personal level have helped us all!

There is Still Time....

I just wanted to take a minute to remind everyone about my gratitude giveaway.

There is still time to get your name entered in the drawing.

Go to This Post and be sure to post a comment. That will enter you into the drawing. The giveaway closes at midnight tonight and I will select the journal winner tomorrow. BE SURE to leave a comment so I will know that you are following my blog.

Giving Thanks...... and a little something else

I find myself in the midst of a tough season right now. It is the end of the school year and I am once again preparing students for the upcoming end of year testing. My students are tired and I am tired, but we MUST keep working. By the end of the day when I finally arrive home I am exhausted. Last night I sat down on the couch with my sweet daughter to unwind with a bit of television. The next thing I knew the phone rang and I found myself jolted from a restful sleep. Later I asked Kari how long I had been asleep and she said, "At least an hour and a half." I would like to think that she was using hyperbole with that statement, but to be honest, she could very well be right.

This week's happiness trigger in Valorie Burton's book was gratitude. I hate to say it, but sometimes I find myself so caught up in the day to day tasks, stresses, and routines that I do not always take the time to stop and reflect on the many things that I have to be grateful for. I see the big things: salvation, a home, a job, a loving family, but it is EASY to see those things. It is the little things, those tiny blessings that flutter into our lives like butterflies- those are things that are easy to overlook because they can come and go so quickly.

Because of this we must take the time to truly focus and reflect on the day- to think about those things that blessed us throughout the course of our day, to consider WHY they are important to us, and how they make our lives better. Valorie suggests keeping a Gratitude journal and doing our reflection at the end of the day. Write down 3 things from that day that you are thankful for. Don't just list them! Explain what those 3 blessings mean to you. Why ARE THEY blessings?

Why is that so important? Of course, the Bible tells us to give thanks to God, but in giving that thanks it also helps us to become happier. It helps us to recognize what we TRULY DO HAVE! I came across a quote from Oprah Winfrey that reads:

It is true. Negativity and continuing to focus on what we THINK we need or what we just don't have right now will make us even more depressed; yet focusing on being grateful can help us see that we are already blessed beyond measure! By focusing on what we already have, those blessings in our day to day life, we realize that we ALREADY HAVE MORE than we recognized: more love, more life, more happiness!

I am going to try the Gratitude Journal and I would like for you to join with me. I purchased 2 pads of paper from the local Dollar Store and I have converted them into journals. I will be giving one of them away. Here is what you have to do in order to be entered:

1. See that box to the right, just below my picture? Enter your email address there to become one of my followers. If you are already a follower, don't worry. I will go ahead and put your name in the drawing too!

2. Share this post with someone. You can email a link to them or even share it on Facebook. Leave a comment below telling me who you shared it with. You don't have to give their name, just tell me that you emailed a link to a friend or something like that.

3. Post a comment telling me about 3 things you are grateful for today. What made your day a little brighter?

For each of those things that you do, your name will be entered into the drawing.  That gives you 3 chances to win, if you do all 3 things! You will have until midnight Sunday, May 4 to enter. I will draw the winner on Monday, May 5 and post the name.

Join me on my quest to be more grateful- so that I can realize that I already have MORE THAN ENOUGH. I just need to open my eyes and realize it!

Money, Money, Money

Some of you may have noticed the absence of a post from me last week. I can only say that it was a very rough week for my family...... not because of anything that caused physical pain, but because of stress inflicted upon us by the good old...........

or more accurately....... the lack therof.

As you know, last week was Tax Day- that day we all dread each year. Well, this year, it hit us harder than normal. Due to various circumstances we were hit with a MAJOR payment, one that we really couldn't make right now. That required us to set up a payment plan with the IRS.

Just when we were wrapping our heads around that bill, we were hit with yet another.

Several weeks ago my car decided that it was time to take a break. I told you about that experience in This Post. Our local mechanic examined the car and told us that it would need a new motor, a major expense, but one that we knew we would have to pay. Flash forward to last week when we got the call from the garage that the car was repaired and ready for pickup and we found ourselves facing another bill of over $3000.

It really shouldn't have surprised me when I opened my copy of Happy Women Live Better last week and found that the happiness trigger for week 4 was "Financial Savvy".  After all, God always seems to send us a message just when we need it most.

Yes, money, or the lack of it, can cause stress, but it can also create happiness. Getting that unexpected windfall can trigger a euphoric feeling within us. Our mind starts making mental lists of things that we can purchase, we begin planning shopping expeditions, and ultimately, we make those purchases and bring home our items. But then what?.....

The money is gone.

We have the items we bought, but it isn't long before those things too lose their luster. The clothes fade, don't fit, or go out of style. That chair or rug that we bought gets a stain on it. That beautiful piece of jewelry loses a stone or is broken or misplaced.

Ecclesiastes 6:7 says

All the labor of man is for his mouth, and yet the appetite is not filled.

That is how it is with money. We tend to work and work and work, all the time trying to make money to buy something else that we think we need. Yet no matter how much we get, we always seem to want more. And then we are hit with circumstances such as those that my family experienced last week when we just need more money in order to deal with problems that are thrown at us.

So what do we do?

Do we cry and moan about our situation?

Do we just throw our hands in the air and give up?

No, I think we need to learn to be happy with what we have, accepting the fact that God will provide what we truly need. In her book, Valorie Burton offers some good advice about how we can actually use the money that we do have to make us happier. 

1. Live below your means- At the beginning of Lent I posted This Post about my personal spending freeze on craft supplies. I am happy to say that I made it! I did not purchase one scrapbooking or paper crafting supply though I was tempted. I have decided that, for now, that freeze is going to continue. I have a lot of paper and adhesive and I am sure that I can find what I need for the projects that I have time for. I am also trying to find other areas where I can cut back and make do with what I already have.

2. Buy experiences, not things- I can totally understand this one! When I look through my scrapbooks with my children it is not the THINGS that I remember. It is the time that we spent together that matters most: the trips to the zoo, the yard sale where my children kept dressing up in the clothes that we were trying to sell, or the family garden where they harvested their first green beans, planted and picked by their own tiny hands. Those moments and memories are worth more to me than any amount of money.

3. Buy time- BOY, do I need to do this one! I am always saying, "I wish I had more time for...." I am sure that you do the same thing. Sometimes there are actually some tiny little things that we can do that will GIVE us time by only spending a little money. 

Let me give you an example. 

I was raised in the "pre-dishwasher" era. My mother spent many hours with her hands fully immersed in sudsy water washing dishes. Once I was old enough to assist, she scooted a chair up to the sink and let me rinse the dishes in the other side of the sink and place them in the dish drainer. Once I was even older, I took the task over completely. 

When I married my hubby our trailer was not equipped with a dishwasher. Our first home had one, but it was so old that we only used it for storage. A few years ago we remodeled our kitchen and I suddenly found myself the proud owner of a brand spanking new dishwasher. The only problem was.... I refused to use it. Why would I? After all, it might use more water and that would increase the water bill, right? It also required electricity, so the electric bill would increase. 

The frugality in me kept resisting until one day my two teenagers finally convinced me to give it a try. It didn't take many sessions of loading the dishwasher, closing the door, and going on to do something else to convince me that it was OK to spend that little bit of money as long as it provided me with a return in the form of more time. Time that I can spend relaxing with my daughter in front of the television, reading the latest book for my Bible study, or going on a leisurely walk in the fresh air. 

I would love to hear from you. As I attempt to help my family find the money to deal with these unexpected debts that we face, do you have any advice for us? Have you faced a similar situation and, if so, how did you deal with it? I have faith that God will provide, but I also want to do my part. I would love to hear from you.

Service

This week I felt right at home reading about the next happiness "trigger" in Valorie Burton's book: service.

You see, I have always been one of those people who just couldn't say that simple two letter word: N-O. "Ms. Baker, we are starting a committee at school. Could you be a member?" "Stella, we are doing this event for the youth at church. Would you be willing to come and do crafts?" It finally got to the point where it was a personal joke between my husband and myself. It is usually a toss-up about which one of us will actually take on the one last task that will put us over the edge and, for a while, overwhelm us.

It came as no real surprise to me that "SERVICE" was one of the triggers that showed up on my list when I completed the online survey. I think that is why I got into teaching in the first place. I really like to teach a lesson or do an activity that is the incentive for personal growth within a student. When I see that light come on within one of my students I know that I have actually played a part in their growth- that knowledge gained.

The Bible, of course, is full of references about service. There is verse after verse about using your strengths to help those who are in need.

As I read through some of them this week, some of them really stuck out to me.....

Isaiah 58:10 says:

If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. 

Sometimes I really doubt whether I am doing anyone any good. Do the little things that I say or do REALLY matter? Is anyone REALLY affected by them? The answer is a resounding YES!!!

I think first of my students, as those are the people with whom I spend the most time during the week.

This is my twenty ninth year in the classroom and, over the course of those years, I have seen many changes within my students. There are more of them than ever who lack self-esteem. Just today, as my classes were working on poems about what made them unique, I had at least two students who told me that they could not think of anything positive about themselves: no personal strengths, no talents, no abilities. It made me so sad. Students such as these are definitely afflicted and hungry for attention and praise. 

When I see a student who is need of a little boost in confidence and I take the time to sit and talk with him or her about the weekend or about what they have planned for after school, I am affecting that child. When I give one of my students the 50 cents to pay a forgotten library fine, it may seem like a small thing to me, but to them it may be a big thing. 

As I get nearer and nearer to retirement I sometimes find myself asking, "Why should I go on?" It is because of the ones that I do reach that I stay. 

1 Peter 4:10 reads:

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.

This is another reason that I believe I am in the right place when I am in the classroom.  I can remember being in high school and sitting with the younger children on that long bus ride home, keeping them company and talking with them about their day. I can remember helping with 4H lessons, camp, and vbs at church. With each small task that I undertook, God was grooming me- grooming me for the role of teacher.

My mom kept a little keepsake book throughout my years in school. You probably have seen them- a pocket for each year to hold keepsakes, a place to record things like height, weight, favorite teacher, and favorite subject. One of the last lines at the bottom of that pocket was the one that read, "When I grow up, I want to be a _____________." As I flip through that book I notice that every single year, with the exception of 1, I had written "teacher". I think that I always knew that God had blessed me with the ability to teach others, whether it be teaching them to read those tiny little sight words that begin the journey toward reading, teaching them to simplify a basic algebraic equation, or teaching them about God's love and forgiveness.

As I near the end of my teaching career, I find myself looking for the next route, the next gift that God would have for me to share. I know that my real teaching days will never end, but I want to continue to be of service to him throughout my entire week. I am praying that God would help me find whatever that service might be in the years after I leave the classroom. 

A while back, I heard the following song by Sidewalk Prophets and I immediately felt an affinity for it. I know that it is not entirely about service to God, but I took the words to mean that I need to do everything I can to help others see God within me, and that includes serving him, never witholding of the talents that he has given me. Listen to the words and I hope they can be a blessing to you as well. Please leave a comment telling me what their message is for you!

Evolving Update

Back in January I posted about my One Little Word for the year "evolve".

If you haven't read the post that started me on my journey for the year, you can check it out HERE

I thought it was time for me to give you a bit of an update. It is also my way of making myself accountable for actually making some progress.

1. I have decided to embrace my hair color--- not the one that I have been using to cover the ever-growing amount of gray. I am talking about my own personal hair color, INCLUDING the gray. I have not colored my hair since January 21. I have been growing it out and haven't had a trim either. (I really do need to schedule one, but I am kind of liking having a bit more length.)
2. I am reading a book about finding happiness and I am trying to make a definitive effort to find and keep my happiness and my smile more evident on a daily basis. You can read more about that in THIS POST. You can also follow along with my weekly posts about the "triggers" that we can all use to help increase our happiness level.
3. In my effort to give to others I have been trying to do more "little things" to help others: paying library fines for students, dropping off goodies at the local traffic department to thank them for their hard work this winter, opening more doors for others, and just making time to be there when people need me.
4. I have also kept a promise that I made to my children a VERY LONG time ago. Before my husband and I married I made a cross stitch stocking for him. I had been promising my children that I would also make one for them. I actually started them several years ago, but I had never found the time to actually finish the stitching and assemble them. I promised myself that THIS would be the year. I am happy to say that I have kept that promise!

Now we just have to wait until Christmas to hang them!

I wish I had some good news to report about my weight loss, but it is holding pretty steady. I just can't seem to give up some of the foods that I really enjoy and I haven't found time to add exercise into my daily routine. I am NOT giving up though!